Busy Life

Studying and doing projects, papers, and other uni stuff. These things are starting to take over my life. Well not really. I just have to do them if I wanna be the best anyways. No more time for reading other blogs. I just have to do what I ought to do in order to succeed. Meh.

Confusing Life

Now this bit might be long. Yes I know I shouldn’t be talking bout too much personal things here, but can’t help it so sorry. If ever the people involved find out about this, then bleh, who cares, yeah? Anyway, let’s start things by saying “I’m confused.”

Quoting myself last month:

“…but then again I’m glad that we aren’t special friends or shall I say ‘together’ anymore.”

Uh-oh, not so fast. I think I’m regretting it, really. Now we go to the same uni and we see each other and stuff like that. We’re starting to talk to each other again, we hang out with each other, you get the picture: we’re friends. Again. Damn I don’t know what to do anymore. What I’m trying to forget, our past relationship, is gradually developing again. In some way, yes I like it, but then again everything was over just a few months ago.

One word to describe this feeling? Confused.

Anyway the two months that I was ‘away’ from this blog, a lot happened. I had a fight, well not really a fight but a big argument and all, with “her” – of course if you’ve been reading this blog you’d know who she is. Now we’re not talking to each other that much, and at least I’ve got someone else.

Dang it so much stuff happened that I can’t write everything here. Everything will just stay on my mind and be there to haunt me. Sometimes I regret doing all those things that led to our ‘fight’, but then again I’m glad that we aren’t special friends or shall I say ‘together’ anymore. I’m just confused I hope everything gets fixed up soon…

So, bye, bye, bye… at least I told her what I really feel.

I feel lucky, actually. I now have $100 more to spend on my date with my girl… if we would still see each other.

“No dude. I don’t have a PC!”

“Well why do you have an iPod then?”

“So what?”

…

You get it, right? People who have iPods HAVE computers. If they didn’t, where would they charge their iPods? Jeez.

..Last Night..

She called me. Her voice was sweet as ever. “Hey, can you pick me up tomorrow? We’ll go out with them, right?”

“Umm… I’m not sure, ” I heard myself speak those words without even thinking.
You idiot! Why didn’t you say yes? Of course you can pick her up! What is WRONG with you?

“Please? I don’t have transportation tomorrow cause our driver will be out. Please, pick me up…”

“I… don’t know…” I wanted to pick her up. Badly. It was like my dream coming true. The two of us – together. Like we were committed to each other! That’s what I wanted, but why couldn’t I say “Yes, I’ll pick you up”?

“Come on, please!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll pick you up AND drop you off. But, please call me at 7 in the morning to confirm if we really are going to meet with them – I might go somewhere else tomorrow if we’re not sure about the group activity.”

“Thanks so much. Let me guess, that ‘somewhere else’ is OUR DATE, right? *chuckle*”

Shocking. Unbelievable. OUR date? Did she just say “date”? Damn. We’re getting closer and closer. Good, good. The girl of my dreams… finally!

..This morning..

I woke up at 6:30, despite the fact that I slept at around 2:30 cause I kept thinking of her. I suddenly felt something strange within me. I didn’t wanna pick her up. I didn’t wanna go and hang out with our friends. I wanted to stay at home. I don’t know why, but it’s like I suddenly lost what I felt for her. Everything. All the feelings that I had for her for 3 years, all gone. Why? I didn’t know. I didn’t have a clue.

I called her and told her that I won’t pick her up. Goodbye, I said. You won’t hear from me again. But… why did I have to say those words? She…loves me. I loved her. No, I still love her. Wait. I don’t know. It’s prolly because there’s this girl, a friend of mine whom I didn’t see for 5 years, and we met somewhere just a month ago. And we’ve been seeing each other lately. Is it because of her? Oh please, help me. I don’t know… what’s wrong with me?

Quoted from the blog post:

What you have to do:

1. Simply blog about this $100 contest (you must link to this post) and tell your readers that there’s an bigger contest in May. You have to encourage them to subscribe as well. Only one blog post per person will be allowed.

or

2. Subscribe to my feeds via e-mail. You have to confirm your subscription though. Current e-mail subscribers are automatically entered in the contest.

If you do both (blogging about the contest and subscribing), you’ll get three entries. That’s one bonus entry for you!

You can’t miss this contest! It’s $100 just for clicking “subscribe”, or by posting a small blurb on your blog. By the way, I highly encourage you to subscribe to The WWW Observer because there will be a bigger and badder contest next month.

Quoting myself 4 days ago:

Best friend… only? Nothing special? Just that? Why? How? You never knew? We’ve known each other and we’ve been friends for three years. How come you never noticed… my affection for you?

But earlier this morning, I received an e-mail from her. A poem was attached, it was pretty long. I was surprised. The poem said something like “Is there even a way to prove my love for you?” then lines followed, which said “No matter how distant we are, I’ll always love you.”

Now I’m totally confused, as I thought she only considered me as a best friend. Does she love me? Did she just send me the poem so I could read it, and there’s no more meaning behind it? Did she write it for someone else? Something tells me though that it was written for me. I am leaving our country this July and so, we will be away from each other.

I do sincerely hope that it was written for me… That’s it. I’m totally confused right now. I’m going to rest and think about things first.

Here they are:

Google’s “Virgle“
Wanna live on Mars? Join Google’s Virgle! Unfortunately, it’s just a joke, so no Martian experience for you.

John Cow’s “Hire or Sell?“
To hire someone to write for the blog or to sell the blog? One thing’s for sure, John Cow fooled you.

Juggler’s “I Guess It’s Time…“
He fools his readers by telling them (by telling us, actually) that he needs to set his priorities. He then tells us that he will give his blog to a loyal reader. He got backlinks through this method. Witty!

As you can see, I do not read a lot of blogs. I want to add more to the list though so feel free to comment and leave your blog URL!